Coffee Talk {In the Cafe}

Coffee Talk {Living Outside the Stacks}1. I big puffy heart social media; it has allowed me the opportunity to chat with you on Facebook, see your lives on Instagram, and hoard on Pinterest but ~ and this is a big BUT ~ there are a lot of things that are inappropriate for social media. Things like breaking up, drunk texting, and notifying people of a family member’s death. It happened. As in a Georgia police department notified a mother of the death of her 30~year~old son via Facebook.  Shaking my head The police department’s Facebook page isn’t even identified as being run by or affiliated with the police department {a picture of a rapper is being used for the avatar and the name on the account is one that is used for investigative purposes ~ “Misty Hancock”}. Seriously The family thought the email was a cruel joke {1. It had ended up in their “other” box on Facebook and 2. The message looked unofficial}

The department stated that they’d tried to contact the family using traditional means but couldn’t so they used Facebook as a last resort. Blank stare OK, let’s give them the benefit of the doubt and say they couldn’t contact the family using the telephone or a physical address, are they seriously trying to say that it never occurred to anyone to set up an official Facebook account for the police department so that people wouldn’t receive messages from a “Misty Hancock”?

2. And speaking of Facebook, a friend of mine reposted a video of some kids, roughly aged 8 to 12, “twerking”. If you don’t know what that is, look it up, I’ll wait. The first part of the video showed young boys dancing with each other and then a group of young girls were added to the dance party. Do you need a mental scrubbing? I know I do. This posting came just after I’d read an article about a 9~year~old rapper’s family being investigated by protective services because of some sexually suggestive videos in which the boy appears. There are so many things wrong with these two stories:

  • It is never appropriate to sexualize children; dancing in a sexually suggestive manner or pretending to smack the butt of a woman is neither cute nor funny. Parents, you can’t wonder why people see kids as sexual playthings when you’re encouraging them to shake their behinds while being taped.
  • Adults are laughing and cheering these kids on like they’re doing something special and/or unique but how many of these adults would be cheering as wildly if their kid won a Spelling Bee or was a Mathlete? It’s about priorities and these adults/parents have theirs in the wrong places.
  • Drug use is not a playing matter. Too many people have lost their lives to drugs, so phrases like “Coke ain’t a bad word” is irresponsible and stupid. What parent wants their kid to grow up to be a user?

We need to be encouraging our children to:

  1. live a Christ~centered life ~ enough said
  2. get an education ~ education is the key to escaping poverty
  3. make life enhancing decisions ~ be wise and use good judgement
  4. be healthy ~ eating right and being physically active is important throughout all phases of life; dance is a great form of exercise but keep it appropriate
  5. create and maintain wealth ~ I’m not talking about a couple of dollars to get you from the beginning to the end of the month, I’m talking about the kind of wealth that is passed from generation to generation. The kind of wealth that gets a family off welfare and into a position of self sustainability.

Parents need to do better. We as a society need to do better.

What had you scratchin’ your head this week?

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I have the research skills of a librarian, the preservation skills of an archivist, the organizational skills of a soldier and the domestic skills of a Stepford wife.  I have the research skills of a librarian, the preservation skills of an archivist, the organizational skills of a soldier and the domestic skills of a Stepford wife. Read more from this author


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  • http://twitter.com/Mylynka Mylynka

    I couldn’t even bring myself to Google “twerking” – GAH!

    • http://livingoutsidethestacks.com/ DaenelT

      Seriously, things like this just make me weep for humanity.

  • creole wisdom

    This is exactly why I really limit social media. I like my blog, flickr and sometimes pinterest. I keep facebook out of necessity because it’s how events are planned. I try to keep it to messages from friends, church events and friend’s parties. I hate the drama on fb. I just hide away from it, haha!

    “live a Christ~centered life ~ enough said”

    Yes! This is what everyone needs. I feel like whenever I am reeling I just need time in the word. Solution!

    “get an education ~ education is the key to escaping poverty”

    Again! We are kindred spirits, I think :) This is really important. Someday I’m going to go to grad school. I always encourage my mentee (mom is having baby #8 with different men, dad is in jail- you know!) to GO TO COLLEGE! and FINISH it.

    • http://livingoutsidethestacks.com/ DaenelT

      When I taught college, I used to encourage my students to do more than party. I wanted them to take advantage of the opportunities ahead of them before “life” got in the way. I would use myself as an example – I returned to college as an adult with 4 kids under the age of 5, a husband, and a cancer diagnosis. It wasn’t easy…

      My heart goes out to your mentee. And I’m touching and agreeing with you that she will allow God to guide her footsteps instead of trying to find her own way.

  • http://twitter.com/Erin_Journey Erin

    I wish I hadn’t Googled twerking. *smh* I suppose the good thing is it will probably be lame by the time Charlie is old enough to be using the interwebs. But by then hopefully she’d simply see it and shake her head like I did. :)

    • http://livingoutsidethestacks.com/ DaenelT

      Charlie’s a good egg. She will be the one shaking her finger at the other kids and telling them “no”.

  • HollyM

    I big puffy heart you.

    It’s like you’re in my head . . .

    Children (today) are either “hatched” and left to find their own way, or they are hovered over until they can no longer think for themselves. What the heck has happened to parenting?
    It’s best if I not share my opinion of local yokel law enforcement . . . from any state. Let’s just say that I’m rarely impressed and leave it there.

    • http://livingoutsidethestacks.com/ DaenelT

      Oh, Holly, I know. It makes me sad to think how many kids are becoming adults without ever having a clue. I refuse to except this is a “cultural” thing, this is people not wanting to take responsibility for the lives the bring into this world.

  • http://www.facebook.com/stacy.artis Stacy Andrews Artis

    Excellent thoughts!

    • http://livingoutsidethestacks.com/ DaenelT

      Thank you.

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