Thank You with A Lot of Rambling

Daenel {living outside the stacks}I want to take this opportunity to say “thank you” to those of you who’ve stuck by me over the last 8 years. gasp I cannot believe I’ve been doing this that long… I won’t lie and say this comes easy. Goodness knows, there’ve been days when I’ve thought about not just shutting down the blog, but Facebook and Instagram as well. More times than not, I’ve found that I have little to say or I feel like I’m only contributing to the noise in the blogosphere. Neither of those are particularly good feelings. Especially when I remember how I wanted to be a combat photographer / reporter when I was a kid. I read Message from Nam by Danielle Steel and it totally shaped my tween years…

Over the past few days weeks months, I’ve been thinking about where I see this blog going and whether I want to continue doing this or not. And, in order to answer that question, I have to think about why I started this blog.

When I first started Living Outside the Stacks, my family’s life was in a state of flux. Due to a promotion, The Hubs and I were moving our kids from Pennsylvania to Missouri and I wanted a way to document that move and share all of the firsts with family and friends. I also wanted a place where the kids could ~ if they wanted to ~ share their thoughts and feelings about the move and all that it entailed. As I started writing, it turned out that more strangers that family and friends were reading about my life and this little space grew to include people on Facebook, Twitter, and, much later, Instagram.

And things with my family changed as well. My kids grew up. I mean, I know it happens to all of them, but as they grew up, they asked me to share less about them and about the family, which I did. My primary job as their mother is to respect them and their desire for privacy. This meant I had to find other things to write about, but what? For a time, I focused on faith but I feel ill~equipped to do so. I know that God gives us the words, but there are so many others who share their faith so much more eloquently than I. Then I focused on books, but finding time to read and post on a regular schedule became difficult. Gosh, this is starting to sound like a post full of excuses and that is not my intent at all. I just want to talk and be real about life and why my words are coming fewer and farther between.

In a few words, I’ve lost my focus. I don’t know what I want to write about anymore. I’m 44 years old and I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Being here, in this space, has taught me a few things about myself, but I’d say the biggest thing is that I enjoy being behind my camera. And, honestly, I wouldn’t have found that out if The Hubs hadn’t surprised me with a camera years ago even though I’d never told him about my long forgotten dream of being a combat journalist.

But even photography has its limits. I’m not a creative photographer at all. As much as I enjoy the photography challenges on Instagram, I really struggle with those. And I don’t think I’m a documentary style photographer either. Photographing other people makes me nervous. What if they don’t like my vision or they’re not happy with the images? I don’t think I can take that kind of pressure. I do, however, enjoy photographing buildings and things like that. So if I could figure out something to do with that, I’d be pretty darn happy.

Anyway, if you’ve made it through my rambling, this post was supposed to be a thank you to all of you, who’ve stuck by me over the years. We’ve been through a lot together. I’ve celebrated births with you and mourned the ending of life, I’ve read about changes in your careers, and all of the random things that happen on the day to day. You’ve watched my children grow from teenagers to young adults. You’ve cheered me on as I’ve gone on job interviews. But, mostly, you’ve joined me every morning for a cup of coffee {or tea} and for that I’m eternally grateful. Thank you for sharing your life with me. And thank you for allowing me to share mine with you.

Daenel T {Living Outside the Stacks}

 

 

 

 

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