Living Outside the Stacks

Navigating through life away from the library

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Throwback Thursday: Rolled Eyes, Broom Sticks and Scenes from the Matrix {In the Cafe}

BroomI don’t know if y’all have had a chance to read Just Another Day with MrsTDJ but if you haven’t, stop reading  this post, and head over there now.  I’ll wait…

Specifically, what I wanted you to read is the post MrsTDJ wrote called “What Did Her 5 Fingers Say to My Face?”  Heelareeous! Seriously. In the post, Mrs TDJ describes an incident in which she was reprimanded by her parents after she was over the age of 18. At the end, she asked if any of us have ever been snatched up by our parents? blank stare Um, yeah.

First, let me give you a little background on the parentals.  They are both preachers. Enough said. Actually, that’s not true. Dad was easy.  Mom, not so much. My mom is about 5’1″ and a buck ten soaking wet in the middle of a monsoon wearing her longest faux fur coat. True story.

Now back to my butt whupping…

We were living in Mississippi at the time, and I was home from college for a visit, so I had to have been about 18 or 19 years old. My mom was sweeping the kitchen/dining room floors ~ the floors had carpet but Mom was old school, no vacuum for her. We were talking about something ~ to this day I cannot remember what ~ I do remember that I had my back to my mother. This is important, so remember that.

Meanwhile…  my twin sister was in her bedroom in the back of the house with the door shut listening to some music. This is also important, so remember that.

All of a sudden, a sound like a rushing mighty wind broke what I can only remember was a reasonable conversation about goodness knows what and I felt the broom slam across my back.  he next thing I heard was my mother yelling “Don’t you ever roll your eyes at me!”  What?  ince when did I grow eyes in the back of my head?  nd when did I roll them?  he second time the broom cut through the air, I was up and out of my chair so fast, I don’t know what I thought I was gonna do but all I heard was my sister yelling “Daenel, Noooooooo!”

And like a scene from the Matrix, my sister was soaring through the air, her back bent in all sorts of inhuman contortions, hands flying faster than we could see them, as she took the broom from my mother, and saved me from what could possibly have been the last day of my life.

My mother, sister, and I have discussed that day, many years later with us separated by miles and telephone lines… Mom can’t remember what we were talking about either, the only thing she is sure of is that I, sitting with my back to her, rolled my eyes.

When was the last you got in trouble with your parents? What’d you do?

Daenel T

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Coffee Talk: Parents, Protect Your Children {In the Cafe}

Coffee Talk {Living Outside the Stacks}Hi, and welcome to Coffee Talk. In case you’re new here, this is where I share some of the great and not~so~great stuff that I find on the web. Topics range from news stories that leave me scratchin’ my head to DIYs that I think are absolutely clever. And, who knows, there may even be a recipe thrown in here or there just for fun.

So grab a cup of coffee {or tea or whatever floats your boat} and let’s talk…

When I read the news that the two~year~old son of Viking’s running back, Adrian Peterson, died, my heart broke. I sat at my desk and fought back the tears, not just for Peterson and his family but for every child who has been hurt by or lost their lives to abuse. Peterson’s son died at the hands of his ex’s boyfriend. That man beat that sweet little baby to death. Someone that the mother was dating, someone that she should have trusted, murdered her baby…

This highlights something that too many mothers {and fathers} seem to forget: your child is your first priority. You cannot leave your child with just anyone and assume the child will be safe. When it comes to your baby, you can never be too careful. And if you know that your boyfriend or girlfriend is hurting your child and you do nothing, you are just as guilty as the person swinging his or her fist. Even more so, in my opinion.

You see, that person has no obligation to your child {other than to treat him or her humanely because that’s what civilized people do} but you, Mom or Dad, you have the obligation to protect your child at all costs. Even if it means walking away from a relationship and putting your life on hold until your child is old enough to care for him/herself.

When I was a single mom, I knew my life was no longer my own. My daughter’s health and happiness rested with me and my health and happiness rested with her. If she were hurt or in danger, how could I be happy and secure? Once I married and had more children, this same sense of responsibility extended to my other children and continues to this day, even though my children are now teenagers. I was blessed to marry a man who loved my daughter as his own, and has never distinguished between her and his biological children and I thank God for that.

As my children got older, I was able to take back my life and focus on my own happiness, but, lemme tell you, the need/desire/instinct to protect my babies still rests within me. And more parents need to take that responsibility seriously.

I write this as a survivor of abuse, a mother, and someone who knows what it’s like to try to date while raising a child on her own. It’s hard and, at times, it can be lonely, but when you chose to become a parent, you took a blood oath that you would protect your child with your very life. Like my aunt told me years ago, “My children are blood, everyone else is just a close friend of the family. They can be replaced.”

What had you scratchin’ your head this past week?


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Coffee Talk {In the Cafe}

Coffee Talk {Living Outside the Stacks}

Hi, and welcome to Coffee Talk. In case you’re new here, this is where I share some of the great and not~so~great stuff that I find on the web. Topics range from news stories that leave me scratchin’ my head to DIYs that I think are absolutely clever. And, who knows, there may even be a recipe thrown in here or there just for fun.

So grab a cup of coffee {or tea or whatever floats your boat} and let’s talk…

1.  Before I bring up this topic, I want to make it perfectly clear that anyone who engages in sexual (be it physical or emotional) relationship with a person under the legal age of consent is a pedophile and deserves to be punished to the fullest extent of the law. That person is a victim in every sense of the word. Now, let’s talk about kidnapping victim, Hannah Anderson, there are a couple of things wrong here:

  • She was allowed to go on overnight trips with this man?
  • They had contact (letters, phone calls, etc) even though she said he made her feel uncomfortable
  • She’s connecting with people on social media after finding out that her mom and brother were brutally murdered

Let me stress again, I’m not blaming the victim but I am raising some questions about the wisdom of the parents. Who allows their teenage daughter to go on away trips with a man? And, no, I don’t think all men are pervs but I do think that parents need to remember that most child abuse is committed by a family member or someone close to the family. Why is her father allowing her to discuss this stuff on social media? I realize this is how kids connect with each other but shouldn’t she take time to decompress, talk to a counselor, and hug her father?

2. Hillary Clinton may be running for President in 2016. Don’t we have any other choices besides another Clinton, another Bush, or any of the other people who’ve been trotted out over the past 4 election cycles?

3. And because I saw it I think you should too. The lap pillow. Good night.

What had you scratchin’ your head this past week?

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