Living Outside the Stacks

Weekly Wrap~Up:  Give Up the Gossip

Last week’s IMG Cleanse assignment was to give up gossip and spend the week speaking love, truth and respect into the lives of the people we encounter.  Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to expect from this assignment.  For the most part I was able to avoid celebrity gossip by turning the TV channel when something salacious came on but, you know what, it’s not so easy to flip the channel when you’re talking or listening to someone.  It’s even harder when people provide you with so much material.  Seriously, it was like going on a diet and banning your favorite food and then getting invited to a dinner party and the only thing being served is the forbidden food.  I survived it.  Barely.  But I will continue to work on this challenge because thinking about my words before I said them made me much more aware of the power of my words.

This Week’s Challenge:  Give Up Comparisons

I think my Inner Mean Girl is bi~polar, one minute she’s telling me that I don’t measure up:  ”It’s just a matter of time before they figure out you’re a fraud!”  and the next minute she’s proclaiming my virtues:  ”Oh, honey, you totally rocked it tonight, they couldn’t keep their eyes off you.” More often than not my Inner Mean Girl likes to attack my professional and social skills because those are the two areas where I’m the most confident and the most fearful.  That’s why I believe this week’s challenge is going to be difficult for me.  I mean, I’m teaching a course that I’ve never taught before and I’m trying to step out of my comfort zone as far as meeting people and becoming more social.  That’s a lot of pressure.

The challenge for this week is to stop comparing myself to others and become secure in the knowledge that I am enough the way that I am.  The goal is to turn the negatives in the positives by using:

• Inspiration ~ use the person I think is better than I am to inspire me to be better; ask them for guidance in how they’re accomplishing their goals, etc.
• Appreciation ~ acknowledge the good that I see in others and in myself
• Gratitude ~ be thankful for all the blessings that I have in my life

My Bible truth for this challenge comes from Galatians 6:4~5 (NIV):  ”Each one should test his own actions.  Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.”

Do you have an Inner Mean Girl who’s constantly comparing you to others? How do you silence her?

Disclosure:  I am participating in the Inner Mean Girl 40~Day Cleanse as a Self~Love Ambassador.  To thank me for my participation, I will receive a self~love gift from the founders of the Inner Mean Girl Reform School.

I’ve spent the last year feeling sorry for myself and being  angry as hell because I don’t have a full~time job.  Honestly, I just couldn’t move past the thought of being financially dependent on my husband and sitting at home all day long.  Before anyone jumps on me, understand this:

1. My husband has never made me feel less than for not having full~time employment, these were feelings of my own creation
2. My children are teenagers so I’m not tending to little people like most SAHMs

I need to work.  I like having a paycheck and I love having some place to go every day.  And being a librarian was tailor made for me ~ it appealed to my inner g33ky book lover need to solve a mystery nurturing side.

When my kids were little, I was a SAHM and I hated it.  There wasn’t the community for SAHMs that exists today.  I was so incredibly lonely.  And when I did get the chance to talk to people, they were so dismissive of the role/importance of motherhood.  I didn’t truly appreciate the opportunity that I had until today.

This morning my children started school:  Miss 17 is a senior, the twins are in 9th grade and the youngest is in 8th grade.  From this point on, my time with my babies is limited.  When they were younger, I knew I had at least 18 years.  Now…  Oh man…  I’ve already started shedding tears.

Looking back on this past year has been a blessing in disguise.  I’ve had a year to spend with my kids, talking to them and loving them, making memories that will, hopefully, carry them into adulthood.  My husband likes to point out the blessings in the disappointments that I simply can’t see but sitting here tonight, filling out permission slips and health forms, the only thing I can say is “I thank God for unanswered prayers.”

Monday Mingle is hosted by Eighty MPH Mom. If you’d like to participate, simply create a short vlog in which you answer the questions and then hit up the linky. Don’t forget to grab the badge and leave some comment love for your fellow participants. Afterall, isn’t that what mingling is all about?

Today’s questions are from Robyn at Robyn’s Online World:

1.  What does your extended family think of your blog?
2. Has anyone in your family ever asked you not to include them in your blog?
3. How supportive is your immediate household about your blogging?

Next week’s questions are:

1. Are you going to BlogHer 11 in San Diego?
2. Have you been to any blogging events? Which ones are you planning on going to besides BlogHer?
3. Are you afraid to fly and, if so, does it prevent you from going places?

A few weeks ago I joined an online book discussion group hosted by Trish at Hey Lady! Whatcha Readin’?  The actual discussion takes place at Classic Reads Book Club and the discussions are truly awesome.  We’re reading The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood, this is one of my favorite books.  I read it in high school and again in college.  I’ve even referenced it in papers when I took women’s history/studies courses.

Honestly, the topics for discussion are endless:  women, fertility, religious freedom, tolerance, politics, marriage, children, etc.  If you’ve never read this book, I’d highly recommend it.

I’ve tried to read other Margaret Atwood’s but I just didn’t get it (maybe I was too young)  but after I’m finished with The Handmaid’s Tale, I’m going to give Blind Assassins another whirl.  I’m nothing if not tenacious.

Do you have a favorite classic author?  Have you ever participated in an online book group?  Did you enjoy it?

For more information about the Inner Mean Girl 40~Day Cleanse, click here.

Disclosure:  I am participating in the Inner Mean Girl 40~Day Cleanse as a Self~Love Ambassador.  To thank me for my participation, I will receive a self~love gift from the founders of the Inner Mean Girl Reform School.

Yesterday about 6000 of my closest friends and I started the Inner Mean Girl 40~Day Cleanse.  The Inner Mean Girl Cleanse is a self~improvement workshop for women that is taught by Amy Ahlers and Christine Arylo and hosted by Stacy of The Mom Renewal Project.  The purpose of the workshop is to encourage women to rid themselves of six toxic behaviors and replace them with habits that encourage self~love and respect.

Our first assignment is to give up all forms of gossip for the next seven days (that includes tabloid magazines, news shows that focus on celebrity scandals, etc,).  Why?  Because gossip hurts.  Think about how you feel when someone talks about you and it gets back to you, it hurts.  A lot.  And, honestly, when has anything good ever come from gossiping?  Never.

So why does the Inner Mean Girl like to gossip so much?  Because it makes her feel better about herself.  But that’s only a temporary feeling.  Think about it, if they’re gossiping with you, then they’re gossiping about you.  Therefore, it’s best to just avoid the negativity.

Our goal is to speak love, truth and respect into the lives of the people we encounter, so we’re being asked to replace gossip with “good talk.”  Good talk doesn’t mean having a Pollyanna attitude towards life and the people in it, it means thinking carefully about the reasons behind our words.

My Bible truth for this challenge comes from Proverbs 21:23 (NIV), “He who guards his tongue, keeps himself from calamity.”

Will you take the challenge with me and speak only truth and kindness for the next week?  If so, leave me a comment and tell me how it changed the way you interacted with family and friends.

Disclosure:  I am participating in the Inner Mean Girl 40~Day Cleanse as a Self~Love Ambassador.  To thank me for my participation, I will receive a self~love gift from the founders of the Inner Mean Girl Reform School.

For more Wordless Wednesday, check out 5 Minutes for Mom…

Tonight I attended the New Adjunct Faculty Orientation at the university where I’ll be teaching.  Yay!  Can I tell you how excited I am to be back in the saddle classroom again?  I truly enjoy teaching and interacting with students, I think I learn just as much in the process as they do.

For me, learning is a collaborative experience between the students and the instructor.  If I stand in front of the students droning on and on about whatever, they learn absolutely nothing but when the students are engaged and challenged, oh my gosh, you can see the wheels turning.  Seriously, nothing is better than hearing a student say “You made history come alive for me.”  Yes!

I went to the meeting tonight planning to teach one class and left with two. Yes, it’s short notice and, yes, that means a few long nights for me but I thrive under pressure.  I can’t wait for classes to begin.  I’ll be teaching on Wednesday nights from 6 to 10 and on Sundays from 8 to Noon.

So, what am I teaching?  American National Government!  Don’t groan.  The class will be oh~so~interesting.  The course will be mostly discussion based with a few writing assignments and, of course, a final.  The topics will be broken up into four sections:

• Constitutional Principles
• Rights and Liberties
• The Political Process
• Policy~Making Institutions

And with each section I plan to show an episode of either The Twilight Zone or All in the Family to facilitate the discussions.  Bet you’re interested now, huh?

So wish me luck while I get back to cranking out this syllabus!

Monday Mingle is hosted by Eighty MPH Mom. If you’d like to participate, simply create a short vlog in which you answer the questions and then hit up the linky. Don’t forget to grab the badge and leave some comment love for your fellow participants. Afterall, isn’t that what mingling is all about?

Today’s questions are from Teresa at NanaHood:

1.  If you could switch places for one day with anyone in the world, who would it be and why?
2.  What do your children like best about visiting their grandparents?
3.  What kind of grandmother do you think you’ll be (many years from now, of course) and do you look forward to it?

Miss 17 after I took her to get her nose pierced…

Next week’s questions were submitted by Robyn from Robyn’s Online World:

1. What does your extended family think of your blog?
2. Has anyone in your family ask that you not include them in your blob?
3. How supportive is your immediate household about your blogging?

I gave birth to my first child.  Like all mother’s I remember that day as if it were yesterday….

It was a hot and sticky day and I was stationed at Fort Polk, Louisiana and I was 4 days past my due date.  To say I was miserable would be putting it mildly.  I woke up early that morning with a slight tightening of my stomach but nothing that indicated that labor would be occurring any time soon.  My doctor had scheduled a check up for later that afternoon, so I went to work and waited for my appointment.  I was literally praying that the doctor would induce labor.  Being pregnant in Louisiana ain’t no joke.

My sponsor took me to my appointment at 11:30 and he sat there while the doctor hooked me up to the fetal monitor.  When a soldier arrives at a new duty station, they are assigned a sponsor to help them navigate through in~processing and get acclimated to the new area.  My sponsor was wonderful, he knew I was single so he and his wife decided that she would accompany me in the delivery room to have the baby.  During my appointment, my sponsor was cracking jokes and had me and the other pregnant lady in the doctor’s office laughing so hard the doctor couldn’t tell if we were having contractions or laughing so he banished my sponsor from the office.  After we calmed down, it was determined that I was having “mild” contractions but the doctor assured me that the baby probably wouldn’t come for awhile.  So he gave me a choice ~ I could go home or stay at the hospital.  I chose to go back to work.

Around 3 PM I felt “something” and alerted my co~workers.  They suggested that I go back to the hospital, which I did.  The nurses checked me in and the doctor checked me out.  ”It’ll be at least 13 hours,” he said with authority.

One hour and forty~seven minutes later, my daughter was born.  We barely made it to the delivery room because the doctor kept saying “It’ll be at least 13 hours.”  My sponsor’s wife made it just as I was giving the final push.

I didn’t know what to expect when I found out that I was going to become a mom.  No one had ever looked at me and said “Now there goes a woman who should be responsible for another life.”  Truth be told, I had never looked at myself and thought that.  In fact, I was never really sure that I wanted kids but when the nurse placed that baby in my arms, I.  Fell.  In.  Love.

On 23 August 1993 at 4:47 PM, I found my heart.  It hasn’t always been easy and there have been times when I’ve wanted to lock my daughter in a cave until she reached 21 but we survived.  So today, on her birthday, I just want to say “Happy Birthday, S’monster.  I love you.  And I’m proud that I’ve had the opportunity to watch you grow into the beautiful young lady you are today.”