Have you ever been walking and see something that triggers a funny memory and you just have to share it? Yeah? Well, that’s what happened to me the other day. I saw the water hose in the yard and started laughing so hard tears were threatening to ruin my perfect makeup day. I immediately grabbed my cell and called my mom who started laughing too.
Cue tinkly music and squiggly flashback lines
My sisters and I grew up in a very strange household. My stepfather (who will hereafter be called “Dad” because that’s what we call him) was a giant kid. A giant kid who loved to play pranks on us. The louder we screamed, the higher we jumped, the better he felt. Saying that we were always in a state of anticipation would be putting it mildly ~ this man would jump out of bushes at us, slap us in the forehead with bacon (there is nothing like the feel of raw bacon on your face), and turn an innocent game of H~O~R~S~E into a combat sport.
So one day, one of us (probably me) had the brilliant idea that we were going to get Dad before he got us. Why, oh why, didn’t we leave well enough alone? This was the one time, the man wasn’t bothering anyone… So I grabbed one of those big ol’ cups (like what gas station fountain drinks used to come in), filled it with ice cold water and dumped it on him. The three of us howled with laughter and took off running for safety.
I have to stop here and explain to you what our house looked like… It was 2 stories, marble floors with lots of glass, ceramics and other precious items that belonged to my mother decorating the interior…
For whatever reason, Dad didn’t immediately come for us, instead he went outside to the garage and started putzing around. About 15 or 20 minutes pass, so we think we’re safe and we come out of our rooms. That’s when the double doors from the outside flew open and my dad burst into the house with the water hose! Yes, that man brought the water hose into the house and proceeded to soak us all.
My mother came tearing down the stairs, trying to maintain her balance on wet marble floors, the whole time she was screaming at the top of her lungs.
After all four of us (my sisters, Dad and I) cleaned the water off the floors and Mom’s accessories, we were banished to our rooms for the rest of the day. Mom even banned us from playing with each other for awhile.