When was the first time that you realized that your home was not like other people’s homes? ~ Catherine Gildiner {Guest Prompt}
I think the first time I realized that my home was not like other people’s homes was when I heard a child scream “I hate you” at his mother in a moment of frustration. The mother looked around, smiled weakly and said to her son “That’s not nice, that hurts my feelings.” The kid looked totally unfazed. Ummmm, really? I wanted to grab this woman, look her in the eyes and say “You cannot let someone that you gave life to, someone that you are supporting, someone that you care for, yell ‘I hate you’ to you.”
And that’s when I knew my home is different from the homes of a lot of folks out there.
In my home, my children have been taught to control their anger. Not repress their anger, but control their anger. Trust me, there is a difference. When my kids were young, I didn’t allow temper tantrums. I didn’t let my children fall out in the floor of grocery stores and kick their feet and yell at me. And I certainly never allowed them to hit me. I know some people will say that’s just toddler behavior or kids should be allowed to express themselves or what have you, but I say those people are wrong.
Kids need to be taught boundaries and they need to be taught self restraint. Otherwise, you’ll have an unruly toddler who’ll grow into a stubborn adolescent who’ll become a defiant teenager with no self control. And if you think the slaps of a 6~year~old hurts, wait until you feel the punches of a 16~year~old.
We are seeing a generation of children grow into young adults who have little to no experience with the word “No” so when they hear it, they don’t know how to react. We wonder why children are beating each other over nonsense and puffing up their chests at those in authority. We wonder why we have a generation of young people who want to gain things through instant celebrity; it’s because we have walked away from the biblical precepts for raising our children:
2 Thessalonians 3:10 ~ For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.” {NIV}
- Children should have chores, there is nothing wrong with having your children work in their own home. Teach them to be self sufficient, to care for their spaces and to earn what they receive.
- My children have been doing their own laundry since they were about 10 years old, the girls take turns doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen and the boy does yard work and helps the hubs and me out wherever we need it. He also used to help out my mother~in~law and many of the elderly people in her neighborhood before we moved.
Proverbs 22:6 ~ Start children off the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. {NIV}
- If you start disciplining your children when they’re young, you’ll find that you have less issues as they get older.
- When my children were young, we had rules and we freely used the word “No” without fear of hurting their feelings. My husband and I parented with firm but loving rules because we recognized that our job was to parent our children and not befriend them.
My children are teenagers now and, yes, they get mad at me and the hubs but we’ve never had a slammed door, nor have they ever raised their hands to me or the hubs. And they’ve certainly never yelled “I hate you” to either of us.
Today’s post was written in response to the writing prompt for National Blog Posting Month. For more information, go here.